My last post’s title was Life is always changing-but I never expanded on that, so here it goes. I have been working as a family nurse practitioner for the past 6 months, and lately I’m realizing that my current job isn’t a great fit. I enjoy what I’m doing, however the doctor I work with is increasingly more difficult to work with. I don’t really want to get into the specifics. I can handle the personal unprofessionalism, inappropriate comments, and unrealistic expectations, however, I cannot handle seeing the level of my patient’s care being compromised. Not to mention that as a nurse practitioner, it’s important to work for a physician who is supportive and really has your back. So I’m seriously looking into other options.
My infertility doctor has been asking me to come work for him for sometime, so I contacted them and am waiting to hear back. If I get the job, then I think I’m going to take it. I know that it doesn’t look good to only be at a job for 7 months, and the loyalty part of me is saying don’t quit. I have never quit a job without a really good reason like I’m moving or I’ve gotten a better degree. So it’s hard for me to feel like this is a good enough reason to move on. Although, every person who I’ve talked to about the situation says that I should get out while I can. So I’m seriously considering this major job change. So just when you think life is settling, life changes again.
Another issue at hand-
Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like there was a theme? This past Thursday I felt like I came face to face with an issue that I usually don’t have to think about too much. It started out with a 17 year old patient who found out she was pregnant, and was very excited about “having a baby”. Turns out she was trying to get pregnant, unfortunately her boyfriend didn’t realize this until it was too late. So one of my coworkers asked me how I was doing and so I was just being honest, and said that the hardest thing is talking to girls who have either just had or are planning to get an abortion. She then goes on to tell me that she had aborted twins, and that she would have been due now. My heart just sank. It was everything I could do to not just say ‘but why, why didn’t you give them up for adoption’? But I didn’t, I graciously told her that I was sorry. I realized that her grief is so much worse than mine. I had to give my baby up, she didn’t. She will always wonder, what if? Then I came home and watched the show ER, which by the way I think I’m really over. I’ve been watching the show since it’s beginning and I keep watching really just to see how it ends. Sometimes the show likes to make political stands-and guess what political issue that they addressed-ABORTION. I couldn’t believe it. Thankfully, in one day I was faced with a very sensitive issue on three different occasions, and I didn’t crumble.
Although it absolutely infuriates me that there are some insurance companies that actually will pay for an abortion, but that don’t cover infertility treatments. Our society will do everything possible to save a wanted fetus, but will make it as easy as possible to kill an unwanted baby. If only our society made it easier to give the child up for adoption or help the mom raise the baby herself. I’ve always been against abortion, but now that all I want is a baby-I grieve the loss of this unborn generation so much deeper.