Well today we went for our repeat ultrasound, and as far as the doctor can tell there has no change. He terms it as a “anembryonic pregnancy”, meaning that a fertilized egg implanted, but never grew to become an embryo. So he recommended a D&C tomorrow. So after discussing the risks and reasons we scheduled the procedure at Arnold Palmer tomorrow.
Then later this afternoon, the nurse called with my hormone level results-they are going up! So now the doctor wants to get a better ultrasound done at the hospital first thing in the morning. What does all this mean? Well it either means what we originally thought, that this isn’t a viable pregnancy and we will proceed with the D&C, or it means that it may be an ectopic pregnancy which is an entirely different issue, or the best possibility is that God is performing a miracle.
Obviously, I would love the latter, but I’m at peace with the other possibilities. I have realized that having faith is not so much about believing for a miracle, but it’s about believing and trusting in the One who performs the miracles. No matter what happens trusting God that His plan is truly better even if I don’t understand it.
I’m praying for a good night’s rest tonight (I tend to have trouble sleeping the night before big events), for Kyle to have strength, and for us both to have peace and wisdom.
So the roller coaster continues-I’m still holding on,
still holding my breath,
there are times that I want to scream,
but I know I’m secure
and I know that this ride will end
and I know that I’m not riding it alone.