Monday I had one more ultrasound, just to make sure it was really over. There was absolutely no change since our first ultrasound 4 weeks ago. There was no heartbeat, and no growth. The doctor could see where the lining was starting to breakdown. We decided to proceed with a D&C. The advantages of having the surgery outweighed the alternative of waiting. Since this is our second miscarriage, it raises the obvious question, why? By having the D&C, we could get embryonic genetic testing for sure. If it is abnormal, then that would explain why this baby didn’t make it. However, if it’s normal, then there is probably something else going on that may be causing the miscarriages. Secondly, the surgery allows for a quicker physical recovery, which in turn is easier emotionally. Some people have said to me I should just have faith and believe in life. For the past several weeks, I have had faith and believed that my baby was going to be ok, but at some point I have to accept the fact that I have lost another baby. The baby had already died, and I knew it. So yesterday we went to the hospital and had the surgery. It’s never fun having surgery, but since I have had this surgery before it was pretty easy. I’ve been taking it easy today, and it has been really nice to just have a day to relax and recooperate. There is still a part of me that is very sad that this is over, but at least I can now accept it and move forward.
Thankfully, I have had lots of encouragement and support, especially from my husband. I am so blessed to have a husband who holds me up when I’m down and loves me through one of the toughest seasons of my life thus far. Kyle thank you for being my rock and my partner. I love you more and more each day.